I have absolutely no clue how this site works. I'm so very lost. There's so many options and all I want to do is say my things. That's it. So the first thing I did was try to find the account settings and make sure nobody will be able to bother me. 

I just made a Blueberry Plumber. It would have been a Blueberry Cobbler but I didn't use a recipe, I just went by memory, from when my kid would make it. She used to make it all the time. Back in 2000, when we lived in some nearby apartments out here, she got on this cooking spree, and she was only 9 years old. Anyway she somehow mastered the art of making Blueberry Cobbler and it was so good that the neighbor woman from Germany kept requesting that she make more. They developed some little exchange program. Sometimes we'd come home and there'd be a little gift on the doormat for my kid, like a little stuffed animal or something, and so my kid would turn around and whip up the cobbler and take the neighbor one. It was an ongoing thing. My daughter has always connected with adults and they take to her like you wouldn't believe. I think it's because she's been an only child and she was stuck talking to me all those years.
What I created tonight tastes good, but it looks and tastes exactly the same as it did when I put it into the oven. It fell apart on my plate. I sometimes get phobic when I envision myself in a real kitchen with a real reason to make things. I'm not sure how it's going to fly. I'm either going to have to buckle down and start taking it more seriously, or continue to improvise and let my loved ones suffer. 

I've been on a fast-food kick for the past several nights, I'm starting to befriend the poor man who runs the late night window at Whataburger. He's very nice and has tattoos running up and down his arms and he never asks me if I'd rather have the number 3 or combo this or special that. He just takes my order and gives me my food. I appreciate that. 

About the 29 Does. This really happened, it was a conversation between my little sister & I about 3 months ago. It was so funny when we realized the misunderstanding that we were crying, and I had to call my dad and tell him, and he started laughing so hard, saying, Ya'll have GOT to re-create that and record it. And he's told everybody he knows about it. Here's what happened. I called my sis to see how her husband did at the deer lease that weekend Here's what was said:

(sis) Oh, yeah, they did alright, they got 29 does, he's on his way home, I think we're going out to eat tonight...

(me) 29????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

(sis) ..uh, yeah? What?

(me) 29? Did you really say 29?

(sis) yeah...

(me) WHERE ARE THEY ALL???

(sis) they're on ice & they're on their way home! What's the big deal??

(me) Does Daddy know about this?

(sis) no, I haven't talked to him yet, but ...

(me) HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? You grew up in the same family as me, and never in my life have I heard of ANYTHING like that.

(sis) I just don't know why you're making such a big deal about it.

         (silence)

         (me processing) 

         (the whole thing was like, 5 minutes, but I'm condensing it here...)




(me) NEVER HAS ANYONE IN OUR FAMILY GOTTEN 29 DOES AT ONE TIME, AND I DON'T SEE HOW THEY ARE ALL FITTING IN THE TRUCK.


(sis) WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DOES???? I SAID DOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S DOVE SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




(from that point on the both of us were rolling, crying with laughter, shaking, me almost wetting my pants, both of us going back and forth, saying how mad we were starting to make the other...)




If this isn't funny to you then you just had to be there. 

I'm really off tonight. My head is still tired. I'm not witty and I don't have anything good to say. This is terrible.

I... I don't want to get my hopes up too much.. but... get this... and I am not kidding...   I THINK I AM ON THE VERGE OF EMPLOYMENT!!!!! It's true! I went into a vitamin store and lo and behold, they didn't say "go home and apply online." Nope! They handed me a REAL LIVE PAPER APPLICATION and that's how it all started. They make you fill it out there. I guess to make sure you're not illiterate. I said that, thinking it was funny, but the woman didn't laugh. But don't worry, by the time I was done with that place (I OWNED it) she was laughing and telling me the manager would call me for sure. YAY ME!!!!!!!  She also pointed to his picture, he's a big ol' bodybuilder but she said, "don't worry, he's a real teddybear!" I already know about that type, she didn't have to clue me in. 

Now all I have to do is fix my sleeping thing. As it stands right now I'm up all night and sleep alot in the day. I keep trying to flip it back to normal but the motivation eludes me. Like I'll do good for a few days then say to heck with it. Really, when else will I be able to live like this? It's all about to change and I'll have to conform once more. 

I started this new blog because I realized, this is a whole new era! And just because one era comes to a close doesn't mean you have to stop blogging! It's just that I never blogged before all this happened, so I associate blogging with my mental blowout. I just have to mentally regroup is all. So I'm thinking I might continue to blog, filling up thousands upon thousands of different pages, accounts, and websites, till I die. 

Also it occured to me today that I forgot to tell you about the "29 Does" ordeal. It's worth telling, trust me. But my blood sugar is low at the moment and I have to eat. I'm exhausted. Today when I got back from the vitamin place I had to crash for a few hours. And I slept over 8 hours earlier! Sometimes just doing something out of the house makes me exhausted. And it's not in my body. It's in my brain. My head gets heavy and it pulls me down till I sleep, then I'm good to go again. Sometimes driving does it to me, which is a real phenomenon. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that I couldn't drive for a long time after the blowout first happened. Like, that part of my brain was blown, but now it's healed, but has to try hard to drive now? Like, when I'm driving, is my brain working overtime? Cause sometimes it makes me feel like I've just read an entire set of encyclopedias and got tested on it all. That's got to change. I wonder if I'll be able to convince these people at the vitamin place that I'm a regular person.